Marriage As God Ordained it


God instituted many good relationships -- for good of mankind

Ordained civil government – rulers, the powers that be (Rom 13:1-10) -- to give order and stability to society

Ordained the church (Eph 5:23-27) -- for spiritual benefit of mankind

Ordained the marriage relationship -- for benefit of man and woman

Gen 2:24

24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.

Want to review this marriage relationship – study “Marriage as God Ordained It”

Marriage ordained by God “in the beginning” – in the Garden of Eden (Gen 2:18-24)

Marriage is by God’s design – God created man and recognized not good for man to be alone – needed a suitable helper, a companion, for man’s good

God showed Adam the animals – Adam understood their function and purpose – none really suitable as a companion or helper

God took a rib from man’s side – made woman -- woman taken from man – the female counterpart of man

Man and woman made in the likeness of God – man and woman are both moral beings (like God)

Gen 1:27

27 So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.

Man is to leave father and mother – cleave (be cemented together) to his wife – they become “one flesh” -- unity to be so close that they face the fortunes of life as one

Gen 2:24

24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.

In this “one flesh” relationship the wife is a helper -- the wife and companion of man

Mal 2:14

14 Yet ye say, Wherefore? Because the LORD hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant.

So God instituted marriage – ordained one man and one woman together for life -- not two men together, or two women together (as with homosexuals) , or one man and four women (like Muslim faith)

God knows what is best for man – mankind needs to accept God’s marriage arrangement -- and commit to make it work (not a trial arrangement) – then will enjoy life the best

Marriage not government or church ordained -- wasn’t started by government or church -- not a product of society -- as some think

Marriage ordained before civil government and the church ever existed – in the Garden of Eden – thus not dependent on time

God’s marriage ordinances not dependent on what the government or the church says – ordained before those existed

Government or the church may presume to try to regulate it and change it -- doesn’t change what God has said – God will be the judge of those in the marriage relationship

Heb 13:4

4 Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.

Marriage honored by Jesus – as a regulation for all mankind -- for all time

In Matthew 19:3-9, the Jews ask Jesus about the marriage relationship – is it a precarious relationship to be dissolved at the whim of either party – or is it a permanent relationship?

Matt 19:3

3 The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause?

Jesus takes them back to the beginning -- to show God’s original intent – one man and one woman -- for life

Matt 19:4-6

4 And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, 5 And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? 6 Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.

The Pharisees countered -- by referring to the law of Moses

Matt 19:7

7 They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away?

Jesus sidesteps their theological discussions – says that God suffered them to divorce because of the hardness of their hearts – but wasn’t His original intent

Matt 19:8

8 He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.

And he clearly stated what God’s will is for divorce and re-marriage

Matt 19:9

9 And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.

Not a problem in the 40’s in my youth – but is today with lack of commitment and the divorce rate at about 50%

Some today misapply the plain teaching of Matt. 19 by saying it only applies to the church – but Jesus shows that God’s marriage laws were ordained in the garden of Eden before the church ever began – binding on all – Jesus said “whosoever”

Marriage affects men in three ways -- affects them spiritually, psychologically, and practically

The Lord taught that marriage affects man spiritually – marriage ordained by God and as such is a spiritual matter -- a regulation of God that can be broken or kept – what “God” has “joined together” let not man put asunder

God joins the man and the woman – and to be “joined together” literally means to be “yoked together” – as a team of oxen

Man marries the woman -- and vows to be yoked together with that woman and no other – and God recognizes that yoke or bond

God is witness to their vows and binds them together -- to the marriage covenant – which involves three persons – the man, the woman, and God

Mal 2:14

14 Yet ye say, Wherefore? Because the LORD hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant.

If we violate the marriage law, we violate the marriage covenant – which is a “covenant of God”

Prov 2:16-17

16 To deliver thee from the strange woman, even from the stranger which flattereth with her words; 17 Which forsaketh the guide [companion, partner, husband – other translation) of her youth, and forgetteth the covenant of her God.

Gesenius’ Hebrew lexicon on “guide” – “An intimate friend, a husband”

And one who unlawfully remarries is called an adulteress – being bound by God to one man but married to another – as in Romans 7 and I Corinthians 7

Rom 7:2-3

2 For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband. 3 So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress: but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man.

1 Cor 7:39

39 The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord.

Very important – these passages show that there is a distinction between being “bound” in God’s sight to the first man, and in being “married” to another man

If she re-marries “unlawfully”, then per Romans 7:2-3 she is “bound” to one man, yet “married” to another man – many get confused and try to use “bound” and “married” interchangeably. Romans 7 shows the distinction.

In Matthew 19:9 Jesus called the second marriage a “marriage,” (he said they were married) but he said it was “adultery”

There is an exception given by the Lord -- the case in Matthew 19:9 where one mate puts another mate away for infidelity -- then the first mate can lawfully re-marry

Matt 19:9

9 And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.

So God joins, yokes two together for life – marriage not a precarious relationship subject to being dissolved at the whims of either party

The courts, the church, preachers, and man may allow otherwise – but doesn’t change God’s law

Jesus said, “What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder” – courts used to fear that statement – made it extremely difficult for marriages to be dissolved – not so anymore

Let us fear God and his marriage law – it does affect us spiritually

The Lord taught that marriage involves man psychologically – man and woman become “one flesh”

Matt 19:5

5 And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?

“One flesh” refers to husband and wife’s very existence, to their very being -- on this earth

They become “one flesh” and experience life together -- share the fortunes of life together as one -- care for one another as if they were in the same body – share pain & joy

Eph 5:28

28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.

What one does affects the other – in every way

United in life’s -- joys, disappointments, pains, successes

Will come to know what the other is thinking and how they will react

So who to choose to marry? Marry one with whom you can commit to experience life together – select one who fears and obeys God – this is why the patriarchs and Christians in the Bible sought out godly mates

So in marriage the two become one flesh – vows are made -- not on some back road -- but before all -- in the ceremonial entering the tent, or the wedding feast, or the jumping the broom, or the wedding ceremony

And the marriage is consummated -- in the coming together in the marriage bed

Coming together of itself doesn’t make them married – otherwise fornication and rape and incest would result in a marriage bond

Fornication does create an improper psychological bond -- that is why Paul warned that fornication is a sin against your own body -- your own self -- your very being

1 Cor 6:16-18

16 What? know ye not that he which is joined to an harlot is one body? for two, saith he, shall be one flesh. 17 But he that is joined unto the Lord is one spirit. 18 Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.

Hollywood portrays free love as a great thing – devil doesn’t let on about the psychological damage it causes

Then again the Lord taught that marriage involves man practically – man and woman become “one flesh” -- utilize that relationship in many practical ways

Matt 19:5

5 And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?

“Leave” father and mother -- parental ties are severed – man no longer in and under the father’s house – leaves the nest

And “cleave” to wife – establishes a greater, practical relationship with his wife

Man becomes a provider – for the necessities of life

1 Tim 5:8

8 But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.

Marriage provides companionship – for husband and wife

Mal 2:14

14 Yet ye say, Wherefore? Because the LORD hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant.

Provides for procreation – to produce godly seed (offspring)

Gen 1:28

28 And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth

Mal 2:15

15 And did not he make one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth.

Practical relationship – means of controlling passion

1 Cor 7:2

2 Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.

Edifying relationship – provides love and care for one another

Eph 5:33

33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

Stabilizes and gives order to society -- not just a helter-skelter free love situation with no one taking responsibility for others (men, women, children) – gives security to the man and woman and children

Eph 5:23

23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.

God designed marriage in the beginning – for the good of man all the days of his life

When two lawful partners make this commitment – will enjoy marriage life as God intended it

Let us always seek to honor God’s arrangements – in his infinite wisdom he knows best