David’s Conflict Resolution Strategy Wins Saul Over
“Now therefore, please, let my lord the king hear the words of his servant…” 1 Sam. 26:19
Through listening, leaders earn the right to speak into the lives of their people. Because they listen, they speak with relevance. And as they listen, they display love, compassion, and understanding.
David led well because he listened well. First Samuel 26 describes how he gained the opportunity to take Saul’s life for the second time. David snuck up in the king while he slept. But instead of killing him, David took the king’s spear and water jug and later, from a distance, confronted him with questions. David shows that a leader who listens possesses genuine love.
1. Genuine love is not always popular – be different.
2. Genuine love needs a clear perspective – be humble.
3. Genuine love is not defensive – be patient.
4. Genuine love is powerful – be forgiving.
David took the following steps with Saul (1 Sam. 26):
1. He initiated the contact with Saul & set the stage for communication
2. He appealed to Saul’s sense of right and wrong (vv. 15, 16)
3. He asked questions and listened for the king’s heart’s response (v. 18)
4. He asked them to listen so he could share his perspective (v. 19)
5. He determined to own up to anything he had done wrong (v. 19)
6. He submitted himself to Saul (v. 20)
7. He offered forgiveness & reconciliation showing trust in God (vv. 22-24)
How about you? Do you display love for others by listening? Are you a good listener?
“21” Crucial Qualities of Christians:
#11 - LISTENING
I. The Quality Defined
a. Luke 8:18
II. Lessons In Listening: Samuel & Eli
a. 1 Sam. 3:1-21
III. Inconsistent Listener: Amaziah
a. 2 Chr. 25:1-2, 5-24, 27-28
IV. Even Jesus Listened and Learned
a. Luke 2:41-52
a. Luke 8:18
Safe In the Arms of Jesus
I. His Supreme Love For Us
a. John 10:11-15
b. Rom. 5:6-11
II. His Blood Washes Away Our Sins
a. Zech. 13:1; Heb. 9:13-14; Matt. 26:26-28
b. John 3:5; Titus 3:5; Acts 22:16
c. John 1:7-10
III. Protect Us from Satan & Sin
2 Cor. 12:7-10
1 Cor. 10:13
IV. His Providence Guides Us At All Times
a. John 10:27-30
b. Rom. 8:35-39
V. He Holds Us Securely in Life & Death
a. 2 Cor. 4:16-18
b. 2 Cor. 5:6-9
c. Phil. 1:20-24
VI. He Prepared Heaven For Us
a. John 14:1-6
b. 1 Thess. 4:13-18
c. 1 Pet. 1:3-5
Listening: Rehoboam Fails to Listen to the Right People
2 Chronicles 10:15
King Rehoboam’s dysfunctional leadership split the nation of Israel in two. His hunger for power, unreasonable demands, poor decision making, and lack of compassion for those who worked under him all conspired to doom his leadership. But probably the root of his problem can be found in 2 Chronicles 10:15: “So the king did not listen to the people…”
Leaders must listen for two reasons:
1. To connect with others, and
2. To learn from others.
President Woodrow Wilson said, “The ear of the leader must ring with the voices of the people.” What’s more, a good leader encourages followers to tell him what he needs to know, not what he wants to hear. Sometimes 50 percent of your leadership involves simple listening. So why did Rehoboam fail at this simple task?
1. Narrow Vision
2. Poor Decision-making Skills
3. Self-centered Focus
4. Demanding and Impatient Style
We learn from King Rehoboam the difference between “hearing” and “listening.” Hearing is a function of the ears; the king heard all the spoken words. Listening, however, is a function of the will; leaders listen to connect and to learn. Rehoboam failed to do both, as he refused to listen to history, his followers, the wise counsel of his staff, and to God.